|
Post by troop on Jun 22, 2008 22:40:33 GMT 1
this is great thread and i will read it all when im not so shattered cause my brain is totally fried
|
|
|
Post by silverlass on Jun 23, 2008 9:53:03 GMT 1
Hi Wendy,
I just have to say that I think you starting this thread was for me the missing link. I had read the book and and thought it was brilliant and I have the support around me but the problem was that devil voice it was stronger that all the good and positive things until now. Please don't get me wrong I have not thrown caution to the wind but now every time I think shall I, I wait for the voice and then question it and in my head I invite my angel in for comment and then I make the decision. That devil voice for me had become so strong. This new approach has spilled into all areas of my life and feel as though I have been given a new lease of life. Thank you for helping me start to pull things together I only hope the rest of the group are having a similar experience. I can't wait for the next few days. Sorry this is extra to my risk assessment but I thought you would want to know.
|
|
paganamber
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
My horses are my life
Posts: 1,622
|
Post by paganamber on Jun 23, 2008 9:54:03 GMT 1
Em, i rode yesterday, the wind was mad! it took a tree down three doors from me and it was no sapling, it was over 2 feet across. I did ride in the school tho cos it was more sensible than riding out under trees :-o
I'm lucky, max never changes whatever the weather.
|
|
|
Post by mountaingoat on Jun 23, 2008 10:30:11 GMT 1
Still stuck on this one Can't think of much that I really worry about horse-wise, I just feel an incompetent rider and as though I can't handle my horses and I'm upsetting them, which I think stems from my own self-confidence issues. I'll give it a shot though... COSI The worries and solutions: - He'll tank with me, I might fall off (not bothered about the actual fall) and he won't stop; Unless he really means it, I can get him back down to a jog, and then I can simply hop off and lead him. The places where he tanks are in the fields, on the beach, and in the school. The fields all circle back to the yard so if we don't stop, he'll end up there whether I'm still with him or not. The school is small, and (apart from the brick walls) the surface is quite soft to land on, and there's always people around. He's not confident on the beach, so I think he would stop if I came off, or come back to me once he realised I wasn't there and panicked. Or he would find his way back to the yard. The beach is very rarely deserted, so I'm also quite sure someone would catch him quite quickly. If its just a tank, I'm very unlikely to fall off anyway. Despite my reservations about my riding skills, I have a secure seat and it does take quite a bit of effort to completely get me off balance. I think its only Cosi's tanking that bothers me. Ok, the bucking when I came off a couple of weeks ago scared me, but only because it was unlike him and I didn't know what was wrong. BRUNO The worries and solutions: - Errr... I think the only thing that bothers me is that he can be quite nervy. If there's not something obvious to do a spook at, he tries to look for something very unobvious to scare himself silly with. When he bunches up and does a prance, he grows to about 19hh of solid muscle and feels like a coiled spring. I ride on the roads a lot (including some busy ones), and I do worry that he might bolt away from something scary and we won't be able to stop. Obviously there's the worry about cars coming round a bend too fast and hitting us, but he gets arthritic hips and knees in the winter and bombing around on the road would make him extremely stiff. Again, this is a silly fear. He's never bolted on the roads with me. We share an incredibley intense bond and he listens to me all the time. He starts to get daft, I simply sit deep and anchor myself, then ride him forwards so I've got him securely between my hands and my feet, and we sing our "happy songs" so his ears twitch back and focus on me again. Our brakes are not a problem, the worst he will do is scoot forwards a few feet. I worry about the consequences to the horse, not to me - and I feel that my poor riding skills would be the cause of whatever consequence occurs.
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 15:09:04 GMT 1
Ah brilliant! Thanks everyone for your wonderful contributions on here. In a way I wish we were all in a classroom together because I could respond much more quickly to the great points you raise. On the other hand, what I'm really liking about this 'online study group' is that the extra time between comments really seems to give everyone, and that definitely includes me, more thinking time and more time to let different ideas sink in. And then we get really good inputs from everyone. I think that, sometimes on face-to-face courses, people don't get as much time for reflection... anyway, just a few learning points for myself...
So, regarding the risk assessments, I thought it was very interesting. I noticed that several of you said that you found this quite hard and it does make me wonder if this quite practical and analytical skill could well be a great one to master for people who are having confidence issues. It may not be just a coincidence that people who feel as though they lack confidence for certain things also have some trouble to break down what the actual risks are and plan, systematically, for how they are going to deal with them.
I think there were two people, wendymp and zack, who wrote out their risk assessment in a structured way pointing out the active and passive safety steps they would take. Remember: active safety is the stuff that means an accident is less likely to happen (such as having lessons on your horse) and passive safety is the stuff that reduces the consequences should an accident happen (like wearing a hat - reduces the chances of badly injuring your head should you fall off).
Now, what was written by everyone else was also GREAT but what I would suggest is that you look back at your examples and see if you can be very clear and structured in your risk assessment. You might follow the structure below (I'll just use an example of someone assessing the risk associated with jumping their horse:
Risk:
I will fall off going over the jump and hurt myself
Active safety:
I will have jumping lessons from a good instructor and build up my skill level. (active cos it helps prevent an accident happening)
I will put a neck strap on my horse and keep one hand on it as we go over the jump (active because it helps prevent the accident happening)
I will ask my experienced friend to school my horse over jumps a few times so he's less likely to cat leap and bounce me off.
Passive safety:
I will wear a body protector and hat (helps prevent injury should you fall off)
I will close the gate to the school so my horse can't get into the yard and cause a riot (could be active and passive, which is fine, but sometimes that does happen)
I will school over jumps on a good surface (again, could be both)
I know it sounds a bit tedious to do this but what I think is interesting is that once you do this, you tend to see that you do have a lot more control over what happens than you realise. And like many new things, when you first start doing something new, it often feels a bit clumsy and bothersome until you get used to it and then it feels very natural. But the important thing about such an exercise is that it removes the 'what's happening or likely to happen' from the 'how I feel about that'.
I know that can be a bit scary too, the idea of seperating how we feel from what might happen -because it can feel as though we're not controlling everything tightly enough. Though remember that lovely quote earlier on in the thread that Bumper had picked up on?
What often happens when I'm in a room working face-to-face with people on things like this is that they say 'ah, yes but.......' and then they'll explain why it is that way with them and why they can't or shouldn't change that.... guess which side that is talking? Is it the Angel or the Devil? Well, I'm sure it can sound like the Angel, cos it's trying to keep you safe right?? But in fact, by doing the risk assessment in such a structured way, you're making it MORE likely that you will avoid a problem and you're making it EASIER to keep yourself safe. So, the little voice that's rapidly trying to think of ways to keep you holding on to all that FEAR while you consider the risks is actually the little devil. It's the little devil that's trying to keep you in the same place, experiencing the same 'dirty pain'.
The next thing I wanted to say is that just because you do the risk assessment, doesn't mean you now HAVE to go out there and conquer your fear. So, i think at some point a couple of people said 'well, in my risk assessment the risk is X but I'm not confident enough to deal with that yet so I'm not going to come up with any ways of dealing with it'. Do remember that writing down an idea for how you might deal with a problem doesn't then mean you've sold your soul to that devil and you have to follow through on it (even if that's what the Devil tells you! ;D ). You can play with this exercise with no strings attached! If you like, you could even put 'IN THEORY' or 'Once upon a time...' at the top of your risk assessment page..
But the main thing is that you practice and get good at:
1. breaking down what the actual risks are and what the consequences might be
2. deciding on ways in which you might lessen the likelihood those problems will happen (that's the active safety)
3. decide on ways in which you might lessen the consequences, should the accident happen.
OK, still have some more stuff to say and even a new assignment topic so will post this bit above before I get timed out and lose it!
|
|
|
Post by luckyrider on Jun 23, 2008 15:26:51 GMT 1
Wendy, if I have the assignment right, we are onto risk assessments after reading chapter two?
I couldn't get my "thinking things through" type risk assessment to copy and paste onto here, so have emailed it. It is a hum-dinger of a spreadsheet properly reflecting my rather unique hair-brained approach to probabilities. It is for me riding Amicus, so certain risks are higher than for me riding a mannerly riding school horse... and the data comes from my own experiences partly (eg I counted how many times in all my hacks I have actually come off...), others (for things that have never happened to me) I have just had to sort of guesstimate.
Beyond that, each time I go out I take the same precautions... the same precautions for lessons as for hacks mostly, except perhaps things like mobile, high viz...
Active Safety ___________ Hacking buddy or let others know the route/time due back Choose safest route Pelham for steering and brakes Regular NH lessons Mobile Gloves Panic handle on saddle...
Passive Safety ____________ Panic handle on saddle Mobile Hat, gloves Hacking Buddy High viz gear
Some of the precautions work under both headings as they may help reduce the likelihood of us getting into trouble but may also help minimise damage in the event of an incident.
Some items I have been advised would clearly minimise damage in the event of problems but may in my view increase the likelihood of problems... eg spurs. I have been advised to wear them out but I do worry about upsetting the horse with an indadvertent jab; body protector: I feel it may reduce my ability to sit a buck because it makes my torso feel stiffer... I could go on.
Conversely, other items I have been advised by some to try in order to keep Amicus zen on a hack but I feel would not give me enough control were he to panick... eg hacking out sans bit in halter only...
Oh boy this is looking like a great thread for so many of us, thanks a million Wendy!
MTA under Passive Safety -- I have a sooper de luxe insurance that takes care of me if I become an invalid for the rest of my life. Hurray!
|
|
|
Post by luckyrider on Jun 23, 2008 15:27:32 GMT 1
Ooher, sorry, took so long to write that I cross-posted with you Wendy, will read your post and try to be more timely...
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 15:32:23 GMT 1
One next thing I wanted to suggest we work on is definitely in Perfect Confidence and it's to do with turning down the volume on the Devil voice. In fact, we're going to tone down that little rascal completely because even though it likes to be known as the Devil, it is, in fact, a bit of a pipsqueak! So, could someone who's familiar with Perfect Confidence or who has a copy there just have a look through and find the bit where Kelly explains about giving that little voice a new comedy voice and tell me what page it is please? (I'm so gutted that I've not got my copy here for the moment) Basically, we're going to start taking control of the Devil. Firstly, you could give it a name of its own but one that removes the self-important job title... I remember that Susan Jeffers calls it the Chatterbox in her book 'Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway' and just like with any mindless Chatterbox, you have full permission to just say 'yeah, yeah, whatever....' and ignore it and carry on. Then what I suggest is that you pick a character for it - for some reason the image that springs to mind for me is a pink Fraggle/Muppet with shocking green feather hair and bug eyes. The ones where the mouth is clearly just being operated with someone's hand inside - a bit like this one But without the blonde wig... It's known as The Muppet now, not the Devil, for me anyway. Obviously, the Muppet has a squeaky high pitched stoopid sounding voice too. So now I'm imagining myself sitting listening to the Muppet who's explaining to me all the reasons why I can't do something and firstly, it's not that easy to understand cos it has a silly voice and secondly, as I'm doing that I kinda step outside myself and can see myself trying to have a conversation with a pink muppet..... So I just imagine getting up out of my chair and saying, just as the humans used to do on the Muppet Show, 'Gee Muppet, thanks for that advice. How kind you are to let me know. Yes, but I've got to go now. Gotta rush... bye...bye....' and I escape. It's quite amazing how much more confident and peaceful I feel as I walk away from the squeaky muppet and how much more in control I feel of that character. Now, the funny thing is... the Devil's no more real than the pink Muppet! By turning whatever Devil type character you might have in your mind into some other comedy character, you've not suddenly become more likely to have problems with your horse! But you have started to get more control over the process that helps erode your sense of confidence. Now, I would REALLY LOVE to see your comedy devil characters! Have a search online to see if you can find one and then post it and let us all have a look. We could even then line them up and chuck rotten cyber-tomatos at them! ;D
|
|
paganamber
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
My horses are my life
Posts: 1,622
|
Post by paganamber on Jun 23, 2008 15:41:20 GMT 1
here's my devil, the biggest muppet i can think of - tony blair
|
|
|
Post by Cetan + Molly on Jun 23, 2008 15:49:47 GMT 1
My devil voice would be Donkey from Shrek. Annoying, irritating, stubborn and constantly chattering away..
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 15:52:09 GMT 1
Ah, we're cross posting Steph. No worries! I like how you've broken that down and I'll look forward to getting the email. Thanks for pointing these out because they raise an important point, which is about how to judge whether something is going to work. Sometimes, we know that X or Y really do work most of the time. Other times, we have people suggest certain things. I think it's possible in those situations to take the risk assessment to that next step and run through the same process ' what are the risks and consequences should X not work?' and 'how can I reduce the chance that will happen and how can I reduce the consequences if it does'. The bottom line though is that we can never totally eliminate every single risk. However, what I see helps people is them being able to reduce risks to the level where they feel comfortable. It is absolutely true that for some people, for perfectly sane reasons, the risk of horse riding is too much and they couldn't feasibly reduce the risk to where they would feel comfortable and so they make the logical decision to not ride. It is fine to decide you don't want to do certain activities because, on balance, you don't feel comfortable with the level of risk. Going through this logical process of breaking down what the risks are and then figuring out how to manage them as best you can will help you uncouple the fears you have from the actual risks you face. If at the end of the day you look at your assessment and think 'no, on balance, this is still too much risk for me because I can't control this bit and that bit and the consequences would be too great if they happened' then fine and great. You can decide to change your activities to a level where you feel comfortable and then be happy about it, knowing you're doing it for reasons that do not belong to the 'pink muppet Devil' who just wants to keep you experiencing the 'dirty pain'. And it doesn't have to be the end of the line. You might decide in the future that your views have changed, or something else has changed and now you can make a different assessment. But this process is much more about making a positive life choice, not having a crisis of confidence. The critical difference is you're in control of the first and at the mercy of the second.
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 15:53:01 GMT 1
|
|
|
Post by rosisotherhalf on Jun 23, 2008 15:56:36 GMT 1
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 15:59:03 GMT 1
OK, so just for the rest of this afternoon and evening have a go at finding your Devil/Muppet comedy characters and then see if you can catch them trying to give you advice or trying to tell YOU what a muppet you are ('ahem! there's only one Muppet round here and it ain't me!!' and just see how funny it can be.
I mean, Tony Blair trying to give you advice on how to ride your horse? Er, can you imagine Tony Blair riding a horse?? With his ears sticking out from under his riding hat??
Or Shrek's Donkey saying you're a dumb ass??
|
|
|
Post by wendyihts on Jun 23, 2008 16:01:07 GMT 1
LOL good one Rosisotherhalf
|
|