paganamber
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
My horses are my life
Posts: 1,622
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Post by paganamber on Jun 20, 2008 15:50:42 GMT 1
OOO that's a toughie
Jumping. I've only ever fell off twice jumping, both times landing on my feet totally unharmed. I have had several horses that were push and point and have jumped novice courses, working hunter etc. However, When I got Timba, my skewbald mare (sold now) I bought her as a 10 month baby, brought her up, broke her hunted her jumped her did everything with her inc dressage and LDR. she did, however, put in a dirty stop, but you didnt know when she would do it.
Anyhoo, now got Max who is andalucian x TB and from spain. the yard i am in is a jump yard so it is not quite a pressure to jump but if you don't...... you know what i mean. So we started jumping lessons (basically schooling under supervision) and max and i were coming on quite well (BTW int he past i've even had hypnosis for this problem - didnt work). Max has never been taught to jump, being spanish, but does have a nice shape. anyway, we did ikkle ones and wasnt too bad. then had a group lesson. of course all these kids were flying over 3foot odd and my and max kept it simple. I felt OK but the gut was in knots as i was unsure if he would jump or not. He actually seemed to enjoy it and put in a bit of a bunny hop over the last fence (about 1f 6-2foot) and the foetal position was resumed. Now i've never really hurt myself showjumping (got run off with and jumped a bank-ditch-hedge-bank-3foot strand of barbed wire once and fell off in the heart of the shires hunting country)so really i shouldnt be afraid. Basically nothing HAPPENED, but i FELT tense/foetal. I THOUGHT i was being stupid and what i DID was call it a day.
Why i need this Cracker cracked! because i WANT to jump. i WANT to go hunting again and enjoy it and not scamper round the outside like the pensioners and lead rein ponies. I WANT to go to shows and do novice working hunter etc.
What a woos!
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Post by wendyihts on Jun 20, 2008 15:50:50 GMT 1
*hands Mrs Murchin a stiff drink*
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Post by wendyihts on Jun 20, 2008 15:51:21 GMT 1
Oops, cross posted with Paganamber!
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paganamber
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
My horses are my life
Posts: 1,622
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Post by paganamber on Jun 20, 2008 16:05:33 GMT 1
oy wendy, where's mine, i need one or ten
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nrw
Novice Poster
Posts: 41
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Post by nrw on Jun 20, 2008 16:14:05 GMT 1
Wow what a great idea, thank you. Bumper - do you mind if I follow your thread, just reading your cracker brings back feelings/nerves/horrible thoughts.....and I really don't think I would have been able to put on the brakes in front *panics*
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Post by wendyihts on Jun 20, 2008 16:25:50 GMT 1
*hands Paganamber an ice lolly* well, I didn't say what type of stiff drink now, did I?
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milo
Grand Prix Poster
milo, lily, bob,henry and monty
Posts: 2,704
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Post by milo on Jun 20, 2008 16:48:33 GMT 1
can i join in please,my main worry is hacking out in traffic,i start sweating just thinking of it, i panic about what may happen,i need to conquer my fear and just do it, i hacked out in company yesterday for the first time and it made a big differance but i still panicked evrytime something came,its more when the traffics coming behind us, milo hates tractors and we live in village with 26 farms and abig agricultural contractor, i ride around our farm but to get to any nice bridleways i have to ride along mainroads first and so i'm scared of what he'll do if we meet a tractor on the main road.
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bumper
Olympic Poster
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee
Posts: 813
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Post by bumper on Jun 20, 2008 17:01:18 GMT 1
GOD that was hard ! Please accept a big (((((((hug)))))) from me as I have just read your post and it really moved me xxxx And nrw, I dont mind at all
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Post by 3pinkmonkeys on Jun 20, 2008 18:42:02 GMT 1
Can I be greedy and have 2?
1. I get really nervous about going to competitions. I am ok when I'm doing things but as soon as I stop and think about what I'm going to be doing I break out in a cold sweat, feeling sick, stomach in knots and having to go to the loo all the time. All this probably sounds very normal, but when you put all that together with traveling it's so much worse. It takes about 1/2hr longer to get anywhere as I have to keep stopping to go to the loo or get some air as I feel I can't breath. The only way I was able to cope with a 2hr journey, which I was determined to make, was to ban anyone from talking about the comp and sniffing aromatherapy oils. Unfortunately all my worries about traveling seem to have gone through to my horse who is now reluctant to load.
2. Jumping!! When it comes to jumping I am utterly useless! I am either doing absolutely nothing at all or way to much to try and overcompensate for my nerves. I am really luck that I have a 'point and shoot' horse, but we only ever do single jumps, I've never jumped a course on him, but I think he would really enjoy it.
I would really really love to compete at the Welsh Trec championships next month. It will be over and way above anything I would have hoped to have achieved this year, but I am already feeling sick just thinking about it. I always seem to get in the way of myself succeeding at anything.
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Post by kya on Jun 20, 2008 19:24:47 GMT 1
My cracker at this point in time would be to go on a relaxed hack on my new horse. I am very similar to Lucky, in that I have a lovely young horse but I'm not capable, or at least I behave in an incapable manner when he naps into a agitated freeze on hacks. I love hacking alone and it appears he doesn't, so it's a disaster for me to find myself three months on struggling to persuade myself to hack out on my dream horse.
I feel a deep well of fear present when a horse zones me out and starts thinking for themselves in a scared manner. On hacks, it really unnerves me. There's traffic, animals, gunfire, etc., and so on, and I need to feel we are safe. Going up to canter on this boy is now a huge issue outside my field as IF he became reactive while cantering, I see only one outcome. Hacking in company might seem the best course, but I HATE cantering in company and don't trust my current hacking partner to not go up to gallop as a challenge. Quite miserable actually over the whole thing.
Cracker..... I would hack out tomorrow morning on a still day. His head would be low and relaxed, and with the odd look at things he would believe me that there's nothing to worry about and we would go up to the woods. At the base of the track, feeling his new attitude, I would go up to trot and fall into a nice collected canter for a few strides. That would be heaven.
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Post by kya on Jun 20, 2008 19:57:35 GMT 1
ROH... had to laugh about your 'military' style getting ready for rides. I drop my daughter off before I ride, and when I drive home I never go back into the house. This often means a quick nip behind the stables before going out, but I just don't ever go inside. Neurotic, but it works.
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em&ed
Grand Prix Poster
Grand Prix Poster
If I had just a little humility, I'd be perfect....
Posts: 3,276
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Post by em&ed on Jun 20, 2008 20:38:29 GMT 1
Interesting that I'm not the only one with OCD then...?! Also intersting about the variety of 'crackers', eh? I have loads actually but I won't be greedy - lol - oh go on then....I would love to hack out alone, go hunting, beach ride, do shows, fun rides.... shall I go on? I think I need to trust my horse to have brakes/not get over excited/ to trust me etc etc... Picture myself and eddie hacking out alone, he's a bit jumpy, as usual, but I'm coping... next thing another horse appears in the lane... I would bet my life that he would tank me over to the other horse - as kanga says 'zone out' and not even realise I'm there but 'for now' general hacking out is my cracker wendy - I wonder if you expected such a complicated bunch of people?? lol xx
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Post by Cetan + Molly on Jun 20, 2008 20:45:09 GMT 1
Hope I'm not to late to post, only just got in!
I'm finding it difficult to narrow down one particular cracker. It sounds a bit generalised but I'm just nervous around horses, particularly leading them backwards and forwards to the field and I always imagine the worst is going to happen. I used to work with horses, backed several and would handle pretty much anything but after having a break of 5 years my confidence hasn't returned. In particular I'm frightened of being away from the yard, by myself and out of control and not being able to get control back.
I took on a youngster last winter you became more and more boisterous. On one occasion when I was leading out to the field he started to get excitable so I stopped him and asked him to back up a few steps. He struck out at me with his front legs and caught me on the hip, which hurt. I also felt shocked as I hadn't seen it coming and all my calmness went out the window. I was shaking, I felt I had lost leadership and I carried on trying to lead him in a ridiculous 'at arms length' way. It occured to me that if he was happy to strike at me with his front legs he would probably kick with the back as well and I expected him to take off at any minute and lash out at me. When he did try and take off I basically threw the rope at him and jumped out the way. I gave up and thought I can't cope in this situation! I also expect every horse I handle to do something terrible. I'm constantly waiting for the explosion.
I wanted to work with horses. I completed all the stage 1 IH courses last year but my fear of 'what if' is really holding me back.
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Post by mountaingoat on Jun 20, 2008 21:17:21 GMT 1
Hope this isn't too late - haven't read other people's just yet as I've only just got in - will go back and read them when I have a moment. Can I have a non-equine cracker? My confidence crisis is very much centered around my lack of self-confidence, and apart from my latest problems with Cosi, I have tended to cling to my boys as a rock to get me through my lack of confidence. I've explained this on the thread for reporting confidence progress a little while back I think. My cracker is being placed in charge of other people. Its not the pressure that gets to me, I cope very well under pressure, in fact I possibly thrive more under pressure as it keeps me motivated. My current goal in life is to be invisible, I hate it if I think someone is looking at me - so when I'm in charge and I have a group of people looking at me, I completely go to pieces. I'm a member of a Combined Cadet Force (again, I'm repeating some of this from the previous thread), where I'm a sergeant in the Army section. I'm the second highest in rank in the Army section, and I teach the year 9 cadets and take them for parade every week without a problem. For some reason, I can make a complete prat of myself in front of them and it doesn't bother me too much. On a recent skills competition, where I was one member of a team of 8 cadets, again second highest rank, I completely lost it when I was put directly in charge. The other 7 team members are close friends of mine, I was put as platoon commander for a command task and had to brief them on the challenge that had been set. This is really my kind of thing - I love command tasks and was working with a great bunch of people. But when I had to brief them, I completely went to pieces. My feeling of uselessness and inadequacy was so great it was like a panic attack, huge compressing weight on my chest and that unswallowable lump of fear in my throat, shaking so much I couldn't stand without support, crying uncontrollably, feeling sick. Could hardly talk at all, it was horrible. I've got Army Annual Camp coming up mid-July, where I'm expected to be a section commander, second under the platoon commander (my very close friend). I'm completely panicking about it already, got this overwhelming feeling of despair and inadequacy looming over me and that rising feeling of panic bordering on a panic attack. I *need* to do this though, because I will feel like a failure if I drop out, and it will (hopefully) boost my confidence and set me in good standing for becoming the colour sergeant next year. (Why do I want to be the colour sergeant anyway? Surely that's just going to cause me even more stress, but I can't explain it - somehow it will be worse if I'm not colour sergeant). I really need to talk to someone at CCF about my anxieties about army camp, because if I don't - then I know I will drop out at the last moment. But I can't talk to anyone, I don't know how to explain this lack of confidence to anyone who doesn't experience the same thing - I'm just going to end up crying lots and embarrassing myself infront of one of the officers and then I'll feel even worse. I think I might have got the wrong point here actually That's my cracker though. If I'm completely missing the point of this thread, please tell me xx
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cesca
Novice Poster
Posts: 9
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Post by cesca on Jun 20, 2008 21:30:45 GMT 1
I can't join in as don't have PC. But how enlightening reading everyone's so honest threads. I have learned so much about you all! Some of them have really hit home, they are so startlingly honest. And ellibell what a dreadful thing to happen to you, I had no idea. What a strong lot. Will keep watching with interest!
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