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Post by silverlass on Jun 19, 2008 23:08:24 GMT 1
Hi Wendy,
What a great offer. I lost my confidence completely at the end of last year and I am now hopefully on the road to recovery (fingers crossed). I just generally need to continue to build my confidence up and have no specific major problems so I don't thing that I can justify a place but I will be there on the sidelines eagerly watching and willing everyone on. I find that hearing of others overcoming problems and fears only helps to make me more determined to continue my little battle.
Good luck to everyone taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity.
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bumper
Olympic Poster
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee
Posts: 813
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Post by bumper on Jun 19, 2008 23:49:29 GMT 1
Mine is cantering on a hack. I can now hack comfortably in company but I just KNOW the one thing that is stopping me from hacking alone without shaking is the cantering issue. The last time I asked for a canter whilst hacking out with a very supportive friend, was about two months ago. We were towards the end of a circular route I had not been on before, and friend suggested a slight detour. She described it as a short slightly uphill track, grassy, hedges either side, with a gate at the end. Bless her, she described the perfect venue for my first canter with Captain on a hack out. And, as she was so supportive, and I was feeling relaxed, I agreed. I was in front (the best place to be just in case I wanted to stop at any time...its no fun yelling "STOP PLEEEEAAASSSSSEEE" from the back I asked for trot, then asked for canter, and then I panicked, big time, and went into foetal position mode with backward legs and all curled up (which just told my horse to go faster as I took all my weight forwards of course). I was literally frozen. It took my friend to canter alongside yelling legs forward, sit back, weight back and half halt...which I did.....at which point we stopped (my horse has good brakes it seems). I was just SO scared of not being able to stop, being out of control, not knowing how to ride, that I wouldnt know what to do if anything happened. I was, interestingly, more worried about the gate at the end of the track than anything.......what if we got to the end and he wouldnt stop and he tried to jump it??? Sounds daft now! I was angry with myself, I was frustrated, and I felt as if I had let my friend down. However, it made me feel more determined to get to the bottom of this and solve it. The reason I think cantering on a hack will help is that if I can do it, I will be able to hack out alone with more confidence. And not be as fearful of the what ifs.
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Post by wendyihts on Jun 20, 2008 9:41:12 GMT 1
Great! thanks for these 'Crackers' so far What I am doing is reading each of them and making notes about similar things that are coming up for different people and I'm also making a note of what different people are doing to manage the situations already. I am going to carry on reading, making the notes and looking for the common themes and then we'll address some of these as a group. I will also probably ask some questions and make some suggestions of some things to try out or explore in the next day or two. And then we'll see how we get on. Silverlass, there's as many places available as is needed, so long as you post your 'Cracker' by this evening. You absolutely don't need to justify having a place - no justification is required! If you would like to submit a story about a recent incident that gives us an example of how your confidence issues are affecting your enjoyment of horses, then please do. There's no right or wrong in terms of what you bring in. In fact, sometimes a completely different example can be really helpful as it can really help us understand something better. Also, there's no rule that says you can't drop out if you don't feel comfortable, whatever your reason. On the other hand, everyone's completely welcome to cheer on from the sidelines too!
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Post by rosisotherhalf on Jun 20, 2008 9:42:09 GMT 1
Hi Wendy - this is such an interesting opportunity for all of us. I hope that you get as much out of it as we all hope to!
So.....my "block" is about retaining "control" going up from Trot to canter. At it's most basic level i am scared about the pace of the horse being too quick for me, that i am unable to maintain the speed that i want in canter, that the pace will unbalance me making the situation worse (as i hold on for grim death) and that even if i could stop, i'd probably fall off.
The last time i tried was towards the end of a short hack out in company with three other horses - a nice walk out, a good controlled trot up "cardiac hill" to really take the edge off him then into a sloping field.
we walked down the field (both horse and rider edgy) about half way, then turned towards the summit. I am not aware of giving any direct "ask" to go but Go we did! We got to the top and i did manage a one rein stop turning him to the right on an ever tightening circle BEFORE we got to the 4ft hedge (which being an ex-masters horse - he "might have jumped".
I took "positives" from this experience, I'd gone faster than i had before, i'd stayed on, i'd stopped. But, on the negative side of things I'll still can't work out whether i "asked", whether i gave the wrong signals by gripping on for dear life, or whether i was really in control. My honest side says i probably wasn't.
Why do i want to address this issue? My Horse is a fantastic boy without a malicious bone in his body who enjoys his semi-retirement and i want to have fun with him. He enjoys a good blast every now and again. Rosi and i want to be able to go on routes and rides with our horses where there are great canter opportunities but right now, i am too scared to even contemplate them. The mere thought makes me tense, go foetal and panic.
As it is today, if i decide that i am brave enough to ride, it has to be "run" like a miltary operation, the boys come in, they're tacked up and we're out - no messing. Dawdling about the yard just raises my anxiety levels - even if it is just going for a walk down to the village and back
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Post by luckyrider on Jun 20, 2008 10:41:17 GMT 1
Here is my cracker:
I cannot hack the horse out alone. If I could, I could get him superbly fit and happy and his dressage work would come on in leaps and bounds, and one day I would even find the time and means to travel him to dressage clinics.
OK, very rarely it works, the hacking out alone. But more often than not the horse starts napping at something and things go very quickly downhill from there.
Last time we were going very well down the gravel track and had just passed our first napping point with no incident. I was getting very excited at the prospect of a proper unaccompanied hack out when he saw it. Actually I can’t be sure who saw it first. If it was me, I knew straight away that it was going to be a problem – a smallish branch full of greenery had fallen and was on the path just beyond the slightly tricky low concrete arched bridge.
Quick, I thought, I need to decide what to do. Amicus was already growing, and huffing and puffing and stiffening underneath me. I could see the whites of his eyes. His feet were dragging.
There is a “cop-out” option of a shorter loop past the row of fields (which includes Amicus’s field). Grazing horses on one side, high hedge the other which screens a fast road down which the occasional lorry thunders.
Naturally, Amicus likes the cop-out hack as it is short and his mates are in full view throughout.
The proper hack takes us over the tricky bridge, past the branch of horror and up into the forest. Lovely if you can get him past that bridge and I knew with the branch there that this was going to be hard. I was most worried about losing any ground I may have gained recently with Amicus, and I felt indeed that the fact that we had gone happily past the first napping point was proof that we had gained significant ground.
So we copped out. Did the short hack and braved the lorries. I wondered on the way home whether to challenge him by turning just before getting to the barn bit (where he gets fussed over and fed, and which naturally he was anxious to get to), to set off towards the main buildings of la Cense. If I could do that, I would have salvaged my pride and in my book the hack would have been successful.
Copped out again! Reasoned that the branch thing might have upset him enough to cause him to stress overly about heading away from the barn just when he thought we were nearly home and dry. (for “him” in that sentence you could just as easily substitute “me”, for “he” whack in an “I”)
So there you have it. The crux of it is that when Amicus starts napping I cannot see a way out. I do all the things I have been taught at la Cense, but without the proper conviction or commitment. My teachers say to me, “if you use tactic x, y, or z, make sure it is effective”. “Be effective!” But Amicus is so argumentative that my escalating cues annoy him and make him rear or run backwards. The NH teachers don’t have a problem taking him out – well they do first time, he tries on all the same stuff, and they somehow manage to ride him effectively without annoying him, and from there on in they can ride him almost anywhere.
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Post by wendymp on Jun 20, 2008 10:59:33 GMT 1
Mine is very similar to luckyrider. But more of a control issue. If the horse becomes nappy, in particular if there are other horses about, I feel I'm not in control, and I go into a sort of emergency mode - which is absolutely awful - my hands, shoulders and legs go tight and I tip forward. I can relax a certain amount by really concentrating but never enough. I generally end up getting off because I know I'm making things worse if I'm offered anything other than a plod. I need to be able to offer the horse confidence and leadership when I'm on his back as well as I do when I'm on the gound. I'm coming to accept that every time a horse spooks or makes a movement that I haven't asked for it does not mean I'm going to get bucked off or bolted with and I'm a lot better than I was. But it is still a big problem. Hacking in company I'm always worried about what other people's horses are gong to 'do' - because it will affect what mine 'does'. So I suppose my "cracker" would be to learn to take the rough with the smooth and be relaxed and centered when all around is chaos!
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Post by wendyihts on Jun 20, 2008 11:09:31 GMT 1
Excellent! Thanks for these so far.
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rosi
Olympic Poster
Olympic Poster
Posts: 932
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Post by rosi on Jun 20, 2008 11:32:21 GMT 1
OK, my "cracker" is jumping.
My previous horse was a good jumper and I do remember a time when I really enjoyed it - even my first horse was a "point and shoot" kind of jumper, so I didn't have to worry about anything.
My current horse, Brig, had apparently done no jumping until I bought him. I had asked my instructor if we could try and get us both jumping and it was going really well. I wanted to practice on my own between lessons and I think that I actually started to focus too much on trying to put him exactly where he needed to be for the right stride. Then I became worried and stressed about not being able to see a stride, I would "de-commit" and Brig would stop.
A friend suggested that I ride into the fence more positively, so we would have a good canter going, get within one stride and Brig would duck out the side or stop completely. The last time we tried it, I landed on the jump. The bruising meant that I didn't ride again for about 10 days and that was the last time I that I tried jumping.
The funny thing is that I can cope with napping and have just re-discovered that going for a good gallop is good fun. I have no aspirations to jump 3'6", but I do want to be able to get my mind and body over a few small fences and then go from there.
Fundementally, I think it's the remembered pain and fear that puts me off doing it again.
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Post by ellibell on Jun 20, 2008 11:38:36 GMT 1
me too please, I have looked at the book via a mate and m awaiting delivery of mine, so please can I join in and what a lovely thing for you to do, thanks.
My cracker I think is riding with other horses and nervousness in general.
I have really come on in leaps and bounds snce last October when I really started to ride properly again since the accident in1999. My confidence issues stem from this and are very very complex as it is now affecting my everyday life. Ie, at times driving can be an issue to name but one thing.
I can now lope in an arena and am attempting my 2nd show in July, but my main issues seem to be riding in a strange arena ( will be sorted by arriving the day before and working on said arena) and coping with other horses around us.
We are still not hacing out yet, but hope to be doing so by next year, but feel I need to sort out this fear ofriding with others, strangley, its only mostly with Elliott, but only occasionally with other horses but I have not really tested this theory. I can ride my instructors school horse and mates horse no probs. Elliott does jump slightly, then I tense, so he gets worse. I know I am the problem as if I am not looking for the other horses he stands nicely and not bothered. I can ride when we are all on the same rein in walk jog and lope, but not on different rein as of yet. This is the same with driving as if a truck comes at me fast and close I have a panic atack, and the same happens when a horse comes towards us in the arena. I can understand the truck driving thing as a truck hit me and the horse, but not another horse comeing towards us.
When I get scared I tense, cry , get hysterical as I re-live the accident with it superimpossed over what I can see. So for example I can see the horse riding towards us and over that is the waggon coming at me and I then totally relive the accident in all sight, hearing, smell and feelings and relive the horses pelvis breaking underme etc, yet at the same time I am fully aware of riding elliott and some of my surrondings, but cannot hear or feel others around me, even when my instructor touches me or shouts at me to try to get my attention.
Last weekend I managed for the first time to stop the panic attack by asking the spectators to be a bit quieter and to just halt and breathe (plus this also calmed Elliott) and then to continue by singing which make s me breathe.
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snc
Advanced Poster
Posts: 417
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Post by snc on Jun 20, 2008 11:44:25 GMT 1
Ok Here goes.....
1 Practise Mounting from ground - Then if I do need to dismount while out hacking I now I can get back on. 2 Improve my seat - Do some riding without stirrups to stabalise my seat, this should help to stay on if she doesn't like it. 3 Practise halting and standing still - This will help to make sure she doesn't get wound up when standing and waiting out. 4 Do some bomb proofing - this will help to get her used to different things that we could come across, borrow nephew with bike and get them to ride past her while I stand at the side of her, so she gets used to the sound of the tyres on gravel. 5 Wear High viz while out even when just going off road. 6 Put a disk on saddle with home number, so if we get seperated at least she has a contact number. 7 Always take a mobile with me so I am reachable. 8 Get a board and put up where I have gone and the time I went and how long I would be. Then if not at yard someone knows when they get there that i have gone out or something has happened. 4&9 Lead Cassie out inhand and let her see different things while on the ground. So Cassie can see me and I don't influence things by being tense. 10 I tense up and hold my breath when I am unsure - Learn to breath so when tense I can learn to influence some of the things. Also sometimes I find going through my ride in my head before actually going does help a little. (That sound daft I know)
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Post by gilly on Jun 20, 2008 13:27:24 GMT 1
I think my main problem is my fear of "what if". Ginger boings when he gets giddy, and boings when he's upset (eg a loud rattly vehicle he doesn't like) or frustrated/worried (eg if we see other horses out on a hack and he thinks he's being left behind). The boings are not normally much to write home as such, but it's the fear of falling off that makes me freeze and tense up, which makes him tense and rushed and even more on edge. Before this mornin, I last hacked out alone a couple of weeks ago. All was going well until he was startled by a vehicle pulling a particularly rattly trailer. He had a bit of a head toss and a boing, then when I got him walking on he was tense, hollow and rushing. Instead of asking him to relax and getting his attention on me...my brain went into panic mode, I tensed up, pulled the reins and forgot how to ride, so of course he got even more tense, was stronger in the rein (or I was, so it felt like he was durrr!) and felt like a coiled spring ready to boing again. I managed to settle him (but not me), and we had a couple of other what should have been minor incidents, but again I tensed as soon as something worried him so it ended up being much more than it should have been. When I manage to ride consciously he's much better, and so am I. It's just the moments where I freeze where it goes pear shaped. And it's the fear of "what if" that makes me freeze.
It also prevents me from doing different things than the tried and tested, and makes me a not very fun person to hack with, unless I am out with one of my very few trusted hacking buddies. I am scared to ride in the field, to jump, to canter in company if I'm not in the lead, of trying new routes, of big traffic......
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Post by silverlass on Jun 20, 2008 14:06:09 GMT 1
Hi,
I have given this a lot of thought this morning and I realised that I have a "Cracker" and lo and behold when I came back to the post I realise that others have a similar one. I have a horse that is good once he understand what I want but I can't stop suffering the "Whatif's" just because I know when I first had him 8 months ago if he didn't understand something he went into panic mode. He hasn't done anything bad for 6 months but I am still constantly thinking "whatif" and I know that at times makes him a little uneasy and apprehensive because I can sense him going into "alert mode". Last night in the school I was working nice and quiet and there was a comotion in the field next to the school as someone was having problems catching their horse - I was about to trot but chose not to incase their horse charged alongside the school and upset Fin. Afterwards I was annoyed because I should have trotted Fin had shown no sign of getting upset - it was me. I have read PC and think it is brilliant when I am sat in a chair but for some reason I become negative when I am on my horse - I know it is in my mind. I want to be able to live in the minute and enjoy it without worrying about whatif. I need to be confident to handle the whatif when it really happens and forget it until it does. Please count me in.
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Post by loullou on Jun 20, 2008 15:09:03 GMT 1
Just typed a lenghy description and have lost it!! grr...
My cracker is a general feeling of nervousness, not being good enough, under confident. I bought my horse last year after trialling him for 3 months. i kept on expecting him to do something wrong which would put me off buying him (an ex racehorse and not what i was looking for). he didnt and i bought him. promptly fell pregnant.
in the intervenign period i was of course not riding. horse has had severe separation anxiety and i have seen him behave quite badly...which stays with me. I worked for a while with him in hand getting him away from his field mate but he was so unpredictable i had to stop. during this time i felt we really lost our bond-i was warey of him (being with large bump and therefore vunerable) and couldnt do much with him at all. People in the yard have been quite disparaging about him.
now back riding but cannot shake the feeling of being scared, hes too much for me, should have gor the safe cob. the daft thing is that i have seen him being ridden with people with less experience than me and hes fine-its me and my lack of confidence.
an example. Had a lesson today. AFter him managing ti escape from me earlier in the week when leading our in hand i was very apprehnsive. He picked up on this and was nappy. This made me more nervous. He then did a massive spook and off i came. Feeling useless to be honest. My instructor then suggested we go for short hack out to try and end positively. she was on foot. Absolutley nervous but with some help managed a nap and then did 2 canters-one at teh spot where he had previuosly bcuked with me!! made no sense. came back still nervous although felt as if we had acheived something....Will be nervous now though of going back into the school, plus walking out in hand. I don't seem to be able to say oh well just one of those things/days and move on..what ever has happens stays with me and haunts me...
i don't want to give up on him/me. My instructor beleeives we can get there-the issue is getting me to believe it. I so want to but these damn nerves are getting in the way...
Hope not too much waffle...
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shelley2
Grand Prix Poster
Thats my boy!
Posts: 1,471
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Post by shelley2 on Jun 20, 2008 15:30:28 GMT 1
hello i hope i am not too late to join in with this i will post just in case i can,and thank you Wendy for doing this for us all i don't know if it is a cracker coz it is not one thing as such,it is more to do with me having a fear of getting it wrong or things going wrong and me not be able to deal with it.i have to really gee myself up to do something new and i hate doing anything new or going anywhere new on my own.i took on one of the French rescue and he was supposed to be handled and stuff but he was not.if i think too far in advance about his training i actually panic and think oh my god i cant do it,I'm not good enough,i don't know enough,I'm stupid and have let him down. lizp has been out to me and has really helped loads and she has stopped the cold sweats and panics though i don't think she knew i was that worried she also said i apologize too much so i guess in a nutshell my confidence has got up and gone and i feel like if anything goes wrong it must be down to me
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mrsmurchin
Elementary Poster
Elementary Poster
Posts: 82
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Post by mrsmurchin on Jun 20, 2008 15:44:04 GMT 1
Deep breath..... Here goes, My cracker seems to be riding in open spaces. Coming from an unhorsey background, my history of riding has been lessons when I was about 10 - 15 yo, stopped when boys got in the way , found horses again when I was about 20 and in a full time job, still just having lessons and all of them in an indoor school. We very rarely used the outdoor school. Fast forward to 3 years later and I come off an ex point-to-pointer at a gallop on a track near a beach in S Wales and break my T10 of the spine. Fast forward again to 3 years ago (7 years after breaking my back) and I fall off my mare in the outdoor school after she spooks at some workmen and I break my right wrist. Up to the present day and I'm just nervous in general in riding my mare. I have lessons every week with a brill instructor on her schoolmaster in an outdoor school, but I don't get nervous at all with these any more. I used to get so wound up about riding my mare that it would start with me thinking about it at work and continue 'til I got on then it would disappear! Writing this has been really hard too, as reading everyone's posts has made me go to the loo twice! Not that you all needed to know that ;D. Seriously though I get all the physical reactions when reading things in magazines or on the internet, so-much-so, that now I avoid those sorts of posts as I don't think they do me any good. The crazy thing about it is I really don't know just what it is I'm reacting to, its a general stomach/sweaty reaction as though I'm about to do the thing I'm reading about for real! I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do the exercises at the moment as I'm saddleless and Genie has LGL, but think I would get something out of everyone else's progress. GOD that was hard !
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