Nerves - again

[Carole2]

I have been reading the exchange re confidence or lack of in riding.

Although I love all my horses and on the ground have no problem at all, in the saddle I get very jittery. Of course the horse can sense this and it makes matters even worse.

I can't find anyone to ride with at present and I am not sure what to do next. Has anyone tried hypnosis?

My husband just says "get on with it" but it ain't that easy.

Any ideas?

Carole

[sandy]

Hi Carole, I had two sessions of hypnosis to help with my confidence issues and even though I had tried absolutely everything before , CD's, books, rescue remedy, lessons with excellent instructor - it was only after the hypnosis that I started to 'get on with it' and enjoy my riding again. I'm still not brilliant - have days when I find it really hard but always manage to ride but the hypnosis definitely helped. As soon as I've got some spare pennies I'm going for another session. Good Luck

[bumblesmum]

I so know where you are coming from. My OH also says get on with it!
You are right it isnt that easy. I am having lessons at a school near me to help boost my confidence in my riding ability then i gotta get brave and get on my own wild beasts!! Can you have a friend stand in the school whilst you ride and only ride for 5-10 minutes, finish on a good note and do the same thing the next day and so on? I know it relies on having someone with you and it is easy to make excuses - i am the queen of the ruddy things!
If you havent got a school can you get OH to come for a walk with you out on a quiet walking hack maybe taking the dog for a walk at the same time. one day you can let him take the short route home and you can mneet him back at the yard having gone a bit further?
do it bit by bit and it will come.....(so im told!!) seriously take your time and if you only feel safe with someone only ride with someone. A short simple ride in company once a week is better than two or three long bad sessions a week, both for you and your horse.
Let us know how you get on and keep us updated.
Good Luck!

[bumblesmum]

Sandy! Where can you get hypnosis? I am seriously thinking about it - need more sphericals sooner rather than later!

[sandy]

Hi bumblesmum - I found a wonderful lady called Fiona Campbell. She has a practice in Scotland and then has a practice in the Midlands which is where I go. I think I searched the internet - theres a list of registered hypnotherapists on there because as with everything you have to be careful the practitioner is properly trained etc. I cannot tell you how much it helped me - I felt so positive. Still took things really slowly - took a while before I could leave the school but now I can almost control the nerves and like I said in the earlier post I enjoy riding. Good Luck.

[Persianhorse]

I think you need to make a bond with your horses.
Establish trust.
Do your best to know their habits and their nature in the wild first this will be your starting point and can be a good platform to become a horse for some moment and try to have respect for them you have a great point in your post that you say (Of course the horse can sense this and it makes matters even worse) this makes a lot of difference between you and those whom don't understand this point start from hear begin at this point and you will gain confidence very soon because you have respect for their understandings.
You have to give theme some quality time.
When you establish a bond with your horse he will care whether he has pleased you or not.
When he pleased you in any way give him reward the greatest reward of all is release of pressure.
When you walk toward a horse he will understand you condition if you are frightened he will know it on site.
Don't look straight into his eyes and go to wards him in a curve line not a straight line this is very important.
Blink of you eye is very important,you hands should be closed and into your body and many other things which are very small to us but very important to them starting in this way you will make a good bond with your horse even going to wards a horse needs schooling.

[Casper]

Carole I know just where you are coming from. If it is any help I have made good inroads towards regaining my riding confidence to be honest by getting on with it. I know that sounds harsh and it is awful when other people say that to you. I know I used to hate hearing it - and still do get told it on occasion! I became the Queen of Reasons Not To Ride - too windy, too hot, a tractor in a field about five miles away, headache, stomach ache, martians might land etc and sometimes used to feel physically sick at the thought of riding.

The things that have worked for me have been a lot of groundwork with my horse, being lucky enough to ride my friend's schoolmistress which in turn gave me confidence to take to my boy, having friends to ride with who do go out in all conditions - but are mindful that Bobby can be spooky and I can be nervous. Have lessons with a good instructor. If it really doesn't feel right on a day don't ride, but DON'T make excuses. Also another good lesson I learned from Mark Rashid was to ride the horse you have today. So what does that mean? For me, because Bobby can be spooky I was tending to be riding along thinking oh he is going to spook at that leaf/log/bird/car/whatever - and guess what - he did! Inadvertently I was teaching him to spook, making both he and I nervous. But now I try to treat each ride as a brand new ride and not think how he was yesterday.

Breathe deeply too. Another one of my faults is holding my breath when I am nervous, which instantly transmits itself to Bobby and makes him tense, which makes me tense, makes him tense and so on... Since I have been working hard on breathing properly this has helped me a lot.

Earlier this year Carole I would not go out without my husband having a leadrope with him to put on Bobby if necessary. We don't hack out on our own much, but are doing a bit of that now which is something I couldn't have ever envisaged doing. Believe me if I can get there, you most definitely can. Have fun and enjoy your horse - and all the best for 2006.

[Carole2]

Dear all

Thanks everso for all your advice and support. I'm going to take heed and get on with it, when it stops raining, snowing, being windy, so dark........ only joking although I may well take it easy until the weather improves, I have more time and my friend comes back from NZ to ride with me! I will crack this.

Carole

[marywelsh]

hi carole
before i got otter in jan i was a real confident rider, would get on anything but for some reason i couldn,t get over my nerves with him (he did tend to cat leap sideways) then he got an injury after only 5 times of riding him and was off untill march and seriously since then i have made every excuse not to ride, i finally bit the bullet no excuses and got on him the other day re thread just had a fantastic ride, and i am so glad i did it, we had a bit of jumping about towards the end of the ride but other than that he was a dream,
i would wait until your friend gets back to give you a confidence boost, but meanwhile isn,t there anywhere enclosed you can ride

[anon]

yup - try hypnosis.

[Ryan&Dizzy]

i now how u feel im the biggest wuss about!
ive not ridden off the yard for the past 6months ish just because i keep making excusses!
my dad (im only 17) keeps just telling me to get on with it and threatening to sell me horse if i dont...(doesnt do much for my nerves)

but this weekend i have arranged to ride out with a lady from the yard...and told her i may cry and be sick but i will ride (hopefully)

keep us informed how you go! good luck!!!

[Ann NF]

Just to let you people know that you are not alone! Carole, it`s a shame we don`t live in the same village for moral support and someone to pootle out with. My confidence improves with the ammount of riding I do, then my neck/ back "goes" for a while and by the time that is better I`m back to being nervous again. I think that humans with a physical problem are just like horses. It makes us feel vulnerable so we become "spooky"!

Looking forward to getting some lessons and doing positive things this spring/ summer. Maybe hypnosis would help me too...

[Ryan&Dizzy]

ann NF, im having the same problem but its my horse with the health issue. every time i get back confident ridding him he displaces his hip! the only way the vet has sed to fix it and keep it in place is to get him muscled up but everytime i try he dislocates it again, needs weeks out of work then im a wuss agen!

[nimrod]

i was feeling braver recently in fact i moved to a new yard 4 weeks ago and 2 days ago i was brave enough to hack my mare out for the first time - she was foot perfect. today though, she was all over the place, napping, rearing, wanting to go back to the yard and although i won the fight in the end it was not a pleasurable hack. i have a great bond with her and we are fine on the ground, but sometimes she just has her silly head on and there's not much i can do. she will now be banished to the school till she is so bored she is desparate to go out. problem is, i love hacking out. i don't want to give in and go with another horse, because if i do she will never ever go out on her own again. silly thing is, just as i was about to get off, 2 horses and 5 dogs were leaving the yard to go on a hack and she was desparate to go with them, so its not like she doesn't want to go out, just she gets scared :-(

[Margaret D]

That is exactly what you need, to ride with someone who has an amazingly, calm quiet, confident horse and of course rider.

Set small achievable rides together going different ways and distances at each ride.

My friend Jane has helped me lots with her 30 year old mare, doing exactly that and yes there are still days that I make excuses not to ride but I know I have gone miles on the days that I have riddn and I have actually enjoyed myself.

So keep it up, get your riding friends and remember the high spots of every ride.

Happy new year!

Regards MD.