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Dog
Jun 19, 2014 20:17:49 GMT 1
Post by Teeni on Jun 19, 2014 20:17:49 GMT 1
Realistically i already know the answer to this but would appreciate your honest views.
I've always wanted to have my own dog for as many years as i can remember but being sensible know it has not been an option due to various reasons.
Now i generally go along with the saying 'If in doubt, leave it out' and i always do the sensible thing. We went to view a litter of cocker spaniel puppies last night and have potentially whittled 4 down to 1 but i'm not sure if we should go ahead with getting a puppy right now.
We want a cocker spaniel as my OH would like a working dog to take to shoots for picking up, and i dare say i would end up working the dog doing beating from time to time, and possibly doing field trials.
Part of me feels like sod it you are always sensible just get on with it. The other part of me feels like its not the best time.
Work is extremely tough right now (talking to mum earlier she thinks i'm depressed, i take that on board because she was a qualified councillor). I am now actively seeking other work options as i fear if i stay where i am i will end up ill, plus it feels like the right time to move on, i've been there since 2007.
I'm at my OH's Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the moment and will probably move in properly in a few months time, but if we get the dog now it will feel more like his dog than ours. He wants me to move back in now but i fear my current work situation will cause a lot of problems and i'm not willing to let that ruin our relatiosnhip, its just not worth it.
This should be an exciting time and i should be over the moon at the prospect of getting a dog but i'm just not, i feel 'meh' about it all.
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Post by julz on Jun 19, 2014 23:50:02 GMT 1
I think you should go for it. Tbh there's never a "right" time and it sounds like a now or never situation. Weather you are depressed or not is another matter but if you feel like you are stuck in a rut perhaps getting the pup will get you out, get you thinking of other things and out of your dark cloud.... Welcome to the dog world.
I made doggy ice cream last night lol x
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Post by happysnail on Jun 20, 2014 0:07:54 GMT 1
I'm all fall responsible animal ownership but I think that having a dog (especially a puppy) can be transformational. It's hard work, messy and long hours with a pup but you will laugh, and laugh and laugh. If you were doing it on your own it would be tough but it sounds like you'll be a team with the OH. It will also give you a positive focus and get you physical and active in all weathers which is helpful in depressive type conditions.
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Dog
Jun 20, 2014 7:28:56 GMT 1
Post by ruthp on Jun 20, 2014 7:28:56 GMT 1
I'm with the others - you're not doing this on your own, and pouring love and energy into a pup might be really good for your emotional state.
I got Dylan (border collie aged 8 weeks) a week before I had wrist ligament reconstruction, and had my right arm in plaster for the first three months we had him. It was a bit mad, but very joyful.
However, if you genuinely think you might be depressed, please see you doctor. A puppy might fill your life with laughter, but it won't cure depression - you really need to get the right help for that, which may mean initially chemical support to help your brain rebalance. It is very important.
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lroy
Advanced Poster
Posts: 435
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Dog
Jun 20, 2014 10:18:38 GMT 1
Post by lroy on Jun 20, 2014 10:18:38 GMT 1
Hi- I'm woth the others- go for it and enjoy every second. I waited 20 years to get my pup and 2 years on have nevere regretted it for a second.
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Dog
Jun 20, 2014 16:51:49 GMT 1
Post by portiabuzz on Jun 20, 2014 16:51:49 GMT 1
animals are great healers for unhappiness
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Dog
Jun 20, 2014 17:45:02 GMT 1
via mobile
Post by HolsBols on Jun 20, 2014 17:45:02 GMT 1
I got a puppy when my depression was really bad (like you I had always wanted a dog) and it was the best thing I've ever done.
Don't worry about the dog feeling more like your OH's-my puppy is now 4 1/2 and I have been with my OH for 2 years. She's ALL about him now-absolutely adores him, will go to him more than me etc etc such a traitor lol but what I mean is your dog won't need to see you 247 to be able to love you unconditionally.
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Dog
Jun 20, 2014 20:03:20 GMT 1
Post by antares on Jun 20, 2014 20:03:20 GMT 1
Are you working a lot of hours? What about your OH?
That would be my concern that the puppy would maybe need more time than you have to give. We feel guilty now about how little time we could give to zita when she was very young.
When we got Ludo we both took a full week off work, OH then took another 2 weeks off with another 1 week working from home. Then the following week we arranged days work and meetings close to home so we could be home some of the time - after that he was outside with the other dogs during the day.
If you are a one dog home then you need to think about how long the dog will be alone for during the day - apart from that I say go for it, love dogs
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Dog
Jun 27, 2014 14:07:28 GMT 1
Post by thewondersquirrel on Jun 27, 2014 14:07:28 GMT 1
Hi OP. Hope you don't mind me sharing my tuppence!
You sound like a sensible sort and hats off for putting in what's clearly a lot of thought around this. To me, there's a lot to be said for avoiding 'over thinking' decisions but some good, focused time spent weighing up the pros and cons and how things would play out is rarely wasted.
I wouldn't beat yourself up at all if your situation isn't 'ideal' or 100% as others might be. None of us would get very far if we waited for 'perfect' before having a stab at something new!
I definately wouldn't worry about a dog becoming more bonded to one of you and ignoring the other. Much depends on the breed, but our Lab is equally at home being made a fuss of/making a pillow out of either of us, despite my OH filling the food dish up more often and spending more time with him during the week.
Having ourselves weighed up ownership for a long time before we took the plunge so to speak (a year ago this week!) what mattered to us was finding the right dog with the right sort of character and at the right sort of age, so that we had the best chance of fitting together and living happily ever after. 'Second-hand' was the best option for us - much as we'd love to think ourselves capabale of everything, the time we felt we'd want and need to put into the early months just wasn't guaranteed to be available for us as readily as we'd have liked. We found the right dog at 6 months of age, happy, healthy, full of bounce and as well-adjusted as they come. His routine now isn't hugely different to his routine previously, and at that age we could easily pick up his training in whichever direction we choose.
Might something similar be an option for you?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Dog
Jun 27, 2014 15:51:53 GMT 1
Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2014 15:51:53 GMT 1
Theres never a 'right time' to get a dog............so go for it............wouldn't be without either of mine, they have literally saved my sanity and they make you get out and do things, even if its just taking them for a walk round the neighbourhood and you will be amazed how many people will stop you to talk especially with a puppy on the end of the lead!
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Post by Teeni on Jul 6, 2014 19:17:06 GMT 1
On saturday we picked up Harvey a little boy, black cocker spaniel with white on his chest and he is fab!
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wills
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 4,657
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Dog
Jul 6, 2014 20:08:44 GMT 1
via mobile
Post by wills on Jul 6, 2014 20:08:44 GMT 1
Excellent. He will bring you joy, laughter and love for sure.
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heidi
Grand Prix Poster
Posts: 3,490
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Dog
Jul 6, 2014 22:42:33 GMT 1
Post by heidi on Jul 6, 2014 22:42:33 GMT 1
Photo's ASAP please!
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Dog
Jul 7, 2014 0:01:06 GMT 1
Post by kafee on Jul 7, 2014 0:01:06 GMT 1
Congratulations! Piccies please!
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Dog
Jul 7, 2014 14:19:09 GMT 1
Post by julz on Jul 7, 2014 14:19:09 GMT 1
aww that's great.... glad you decided to go for it xx
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