Post by Caroline on Apr 4, 2014 14:26:56 GMT 1
I decided last year that, if I was to ever ride my TigerLily, I was going to have to get on with it. It's been a long journey, 11 years so far. When I got her at the age of 3, she was wild and completely unhandled. I tamed her and we did a lot of groundwork over the years. But she was always a handful - a very expressive and dramatic horse who knew her own power. And I have always had a dream of taming a wild horse and training it using only gentle, ethical methods. The more I got into it, the more pure about consent and freedom I got.So TigerLily was never punished or told she can't do whatever she wants. That is a beautiful thing to have been able to do, but it does mean I have a horse with her own opinions that she feels free to express.
When she was young, she was such a handful that riding her seemed an obviously suicidal idea. I am self employed, so I could never and still can't afford to have an accident that will prevent me from being able to work. The risk was always too high. And I was never prepared to put her in the hands of anyone that would break her spirit and I certainly couldn't do that myself. What would be the point? I have this beautiful horse that glitters with unbroken spirit and that is so precious to me. I felt I would rather have a horse that I never reached a riding relationship with than damage the thing I find so wonderful. But recent years with clicker training have shown me that it is possible to work within consent and still take the relationship to new places. So gradually the possibility of riding emerged.
So I decided it was time to explore whether this is something TigerLily would be happy with, consent to, enjoy. First of all I looked in the mirror and realised there was a lot I was going to have to do about myself. I knew I would have to lose some weight to ride her, but had no idea how much. I thought maybe a stone or so. When I got on someone's scales, I got a big shock. I was a lot heavier than I had imagined. I measured TigerLily's girth and length and used some online calculators to work out the minimum weight I was going to have to get to, in order to allow for the saddle. I was thinking of using the western saddle (1.5 stone!) at the time. So that meant I had to lose 3.5 stone to ride her without a saddle or 5 stone to ride her with one. Bareback, whilst a lovely idea, was probably likely to not be in anyone's interests. So that meant I had to lose 5 stone. Big task!
I had a condition that meant doctors had told me it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to lose weight and that I should learn to live with it. I had been living with it for years, believing I had no choice. But I saw a film called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" by an Australian gentleman called Joe Cross who had gone across America, doing a juice diet and interviewing people about attitudes to diet and weight. He lost a massive amount ot weight - about 100lbs I think - and others on this film lost massive amounts too. I saw that it just involved juicing fruit and vegetables and doing daily exercise. I thought "I can do that! It's worth a try", so I did.
I juiced and trained every day. I was fortunate that my OH used to be a police physical training and self defence instructor, so he was able to act as my personal trainer and martial arts instructor (he has 3 black beltsin various styles). My training started small, because it was hard on my joints because I was heavier then, and I was very unfit. I won't say it eas easy, because it really hasn't been. The juicing is the easy bit. The tricky bit is draggin myself out of bed each morning and going training, no matter how tired or achy I am from the days before. Every day brought new aches and pains! But I was a woman on a mission. I lost 10lbs in the first week and 7 in the week after. I could see within days and weeks that what the doctors had told me simply was not true. It was possible for me to lose weight! So I kept at it, doing a little more each day. I was very excited the first few times I was able to run through the forest with my dog. I had forgotten what that was like and got used to being so unfit that it wasn't something my life included.
I have always loved martial arts. I started with judo when I was 14, went on to Ju Jitsu when I was 17, Karate Shotokai through University years. But I hadn't done much since other than admire Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal in films. I dreamt of being able to do the reverse roundhouse kick that Jean Claude finished just about every fight scene with. But clearly I was a different species that would never be physicaly capable of that. Or so I thought
9 months later, I can do that kick - not brilliantly and nothing like Jean Claude, but I am getting closer. I train up to 2 hours a day (power walking, running, press ups and martial arts), have learned Aikido, Taekwondo/Kick boxing and Kung Fu and am well on my way towards my black belt in Aikido and Mixed Martial Arts. And I am now 5 lbs away from having lost the 5 stone I needed to lose to ride TigerLily.
!!!
Who would have thought that was possible? Well probably another horsey girl would - because they understand the level of committment and obsession involved with horse ownership!
So with my weight all but lost and great fitness and agility achieved, all that remains (other than to get riding fit again) is to open negotiations with TigerLily...
To this end, I asked Sarah Weston to come and do an assessment of whether it is going to be possible to start TigerLily and to help me on this journey. We had our second lesson yesterday and I couldn't be happier
It is still far from certain whether we are going to be able to negotiate a ridden relationship with TigerLily. I have always come from the position that it is just fine if it doesn't turn out to be possible. But my other job is as a priest and I see a lot of people dying. I didn't want to be so afraid of injury that I don't live life as I want to! I don't want to be on my death bed someday and regret not having seized life and at least attempted to do the thing that I think would be the event of my life - riding TigerLily. I won't do it at any cost. I love her beyond reason and don't want to make her unhappy. But if it is something she is happy with, I feel it will elevate our relationship to something even more wonderful and I want to experience that if we can.
So far, she is taking to the preparations and the journey well. We are being good pupils and doing our homework every day. So the last couple of weeks, we have been practising putting the saddle on and off and have been taking little walks outside the field. That's the scary bit. I haven't had her out for years and I confess I am frightened of her when she gets alarmed. She seems to grow several feet, often swerves into me and gives me the distinct impression she is going to flatten me and run off. In practise, she hasn't ever done either yet - but she has pushed me sideways into a bush a few times and every time her head and pulse goes up, so does mine. It's weird. I had prided myself on achieving pulse control when I was working with little Zee. But his thing was bolting off. He always ran away rather than over, so it was never actually dangerous to me. TigerLily makes me feel endangered when she gets scared.
So we are working on acclimitising her to getting out and about and gently stretching both her and my boundaries. I felt like I had won the grand national the first time I got her out of the top gate and about 20m into the forest! Every day we do a little more, go a little further. And she is getting better at handling alarm and slightly less likely to get alarmed.
Yesterday Sarah took us out into the forest and we went further than we had done in our homework sessions. TigerLily was a complete star and I was very proud of her. Sarah even had her checking out a scary fallen tree and then jumping a couple of little logs.
Best of all, I feel that TigerLily is really enjoying the new adventures. I always take her out after she has had her bucket (because they are over-excited before dinner, but I guess that wil have to change when she is actually exercising). As soon as she has had dinner, she stands at the gate and stares at me expectantly until I take her out. And when we go back at the end of the walk, she stands by the gate and wants to do more. She seems to have decided she is higher in the herd order since doing this training too. Poor little Zee, who used to be the boss, is now getting bossed by TigerLily.
Who knows where this will lead? It's certainly been wonderful finding out so far
Here she is, with photos from Sarah's blog: sarahweston.org.uk
When she was young, she was such a handful that riding her seemed an obviously suicidal idea. I am self employed, so I could never and still can't afford to have an accident that will prevent me from being able to work. The risk was always too high. And I was never prepared to put her in the hands of anyone that would break her spirit and I certainly couldn't do that myself. What would be the point? I have this beautiful horse that glitters with unbroken spirit and that is so precious to me. I felt I would rather have a horse that I never reached a riding relationship with than damage the thing I find so wonderful. But recent years with clicker training have shown me that it is possible to work within consent and still take the relationship to new places. So gradually the possibility of riding emerged.
So I decided it was time to explore whether this is something TigerLily would be happy with, consent to, enjoy. First of all I looked in the mirror and realised there was a lot I was going to have to do about myself. I knew I would have to lose some weight to ride her, but had no idea how much. I thought maybe a stone or so. When I got on someone's scales, I got a big shock. I was a lot heavier than I had imagined. I measured TigerLily's girth and length and used some online calculators to work out the minimum weight I was going to have to get to, in order to allow for the saddle. I was thinking of using the western saddle (1.5 stone!) at the time. So that meant I had to lose 3.5 stone to ride her without a saddle or 5 stone to ride her with one. Bareback, whilst a lovely idea, was probably likely to not be in anyone's interests. So that meant I had to lose 5 stone. Big task!
I had a condition that meant doctors had told me it would be extremely difficult, if not impossible, to lose weight and that I should learn to live with it. I had been living with it for years, believing I had no choice. But I saw a film called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" by an Australian gentleman called Joe Cross who had gone across America, doing a juice diet and interviewing people about attitudes to diet and weight. He lost a massive amount ot weight - about 100lbs I think - and others on this film lost massive amounts too. I saw that it just involved juicing fruit and vegetables and doing daily exercise. I thought "I can do that! It's worth a try", so I did.
I juiced and trained every day. I was fortunate that my OH used to be a police physical training and self defence instructor, so he was able to act as my personal trainer and martial arts instructor (he has 3 black beltsin various styles). My training started small, because it was hard on my joints because I was heavier then, and I was very unfit. I won't say it eas easy, because it really hasn't been. The juicing is the easy bit. The tricky bit is draggin myself out of bed each morning and going training, no matter how tired or achy I am from the days before. Every day brought new aches and pains! But I was a woman on a mission. I lost 10lbs in the first week and 7 in the week after. I could see within days and weeks that what the doctors had told me simply was not true. It was possible for me to lose weight! So I kept at it, doing a little more each day. I was very excited the first few times I was able to run through the forest with my dog. I had forgotten what that was like and got used to being so unfit that it wasn't something my life included.
I have always loved martial arts. I started with judo when I was 14, went on to Ju Jitsu when I was 17, Karate Shotokai through University years. But I hadn't done much since other than admire Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal in films. I dreamt of being able to do the reverse roundhouse kick that Jean Claude finished just about every fight scene with. But clearly I was a different species that would never be physicaly capable of that. Or so I thought
9 months later, I can do that kick - not brilliantly and nothing like Jean Claude, but I am getting closer. I train up to 2 hours a day (power walking, running, press ups and martial arts), have learned Aikido, Taekwondo/Kick boxing and Kung Fu and am well on my way towards my black belt in Aikido and Mixed Martial Arts. And I am now 5 lbs away from having lost the 5 stone I needed to lose to ride TigerLily.
!!!
Who would have thought that was possible? Well probably another horsey girl would - because they understand the level of committment and obsession involved with horse ownership!
So with my weight all but lost and great fitness and agility achieved, all that remains (other than to get riding fit again) is to open negotiations with TigerLily...
To this end, I asked Sarah Weston to come and do an assessment of whether it is going to be possible to start TigerLily and to help me on this journey. We had our second lesson yesterday and I couldn't be happier
It is still far from certain whether we are going to be able to negotiate a ridden relationship with TigerLily. I have always come from the position that it is just fine if it doesn't turn out to be possible. But my other job is as a priest and I see a lot of people dying. I didn't want to be so afraid of injury that I don't live life as I want to! I don't want to be on my death bed someday and regret not having seized life and at least attempted to do the thing that I think would be the event of my life - riding TigerLily. I won't do it at any cost. I love her beyond reason and don't want to make her unhappy. But if it is something she is happy with, I feel it will elevate our relationship to something even more wonderful and I want to experience that if we can.
So far, she is taking to the preparations and the journey well. We are being good pupils and doing our homework every day. So the last couple of weeks, we have been practising putting the saddle on and off and have been taking little walks outside the field. That's the scary bit. I haven't had her out for years and I confess I am frightened of her when she gets alarmed. She seems to grow several feet, often swerves into me and gives me the distinct impression she is going to flatten me and run off. In practise, she hasn't ever done either yet - but she has pushed me sideways into a bush a few times and every time her head and pulse goes up, so does mine. It's weird. I had prided myself on achieving pulse control when I was working with little Zee. But his thing was bolting off. He always ran away rather than over, so it was never actually dangerous to me. TigerLily makes me feel endangered when she gets scared.
So we are working on acclimitising her to getting out and about and gently stretching both her and my boundaries. I felt like I had won the grand national the first time I got her out of the top gate and about 20m into the forest! Every day we do a little more, go a little further. And she is getting better at handling alarm and slightly less likely to get alarmed.
Yesterday Sarah took us out into the forest and we went further than we had done in our homework sessions. TigerLily was a complete star and I was very proud of her. Sarah even had her checking out a scary fallen tree and then jumping a couple of little logs.
Best of all, I feel that TigerLily is really enjoying the new adventures. I always take her out after she has had her bucket (because they are over-excited before dinner, but I guess that wil have to change when she is actually exercising). As soon as she has had dinner, she stands at the gate and stares at me expectantly until I take her out. And when we go back at the end of the walk, she stands by the gate and wants to do more. She seems to have decided she is higher in the herd order since doing this training too. Poor little Zee, who used to be the boss, is now getting bossed by TigerLily.
Who knows where this will lead? It's certainly been wonderful finding out so far
Here she is, with photos from Sarah's blog: sarahweston.org.uk
