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Post by chavhorse on Dec 27, 2010 9:19:17 GMT 1
Just wanting a bit of reassurance really and hoping I do not come over as completely mad Just to give you some background, for the last month I have been signed off work as I have suffered a stress related breakdown. I am very aware that I am not 100% at the moment and so have handed all the training and riding of Vardi back to my Trainer and his daughter as to be honest my head is not in the right place to do calm and confidence giving at the moment. I have been going in daily and giving him a good groom or just spending an hour chatting and rubbing the sweet spots The last few times I have been down to see him he has insisted in licking me all over, to the extent of pulling off my gloves and my hat so he can can lick my hands and my head and neck (this is not normal behavior from him at all). If I go down to see him in the field he will walk away from the others and is happy to stand for as long as I like just being rubbed and nibbling at me, when I go to walk out of the field he follows me right up to the gate then walks the entire length of the fence line with me until I get back to the yard gate. Again this is odd as under normal circumstances he would allow you to approach him in the field and have a quick" hi mum" then it would "sorry I want to play with my mates bye" The main thing I have noticed is that when I am interacting with him after about 5 mins he starts yawning and will then yawn constantly for 10 to 15 mins then stop again this is not normal behavior for him at all. I suppose my question is am I stressing him out at the moment and should I just keep away until my head is a bit straighter? I do know that in the past when Vardi was ill and I was spending a lot of time with him I would sit with him and yawn away like mad and became famous for falling asleep with him in his field and stable for hours on end One of my Yard Mates who does Quantum Touch says that she thinks we have such a good bond that he is simply returning the favor to me and is taking on my negative vibes and yawning his his way of getting rid of them. All I know is I do feel 100% better when I have spent time with him but do not in any way want him to have to deal with this (hence my handing over the difficult stuff to my trainer to deal with). Any thoughts or shall I just keep taking the tablets?
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Post by gordo on Dec 27, 2010 9:23:55 GMT 1
Sorry you are having a tough time. Sounds like your dear horse is doing all he can to make you better! I know that cats will absorb negative vibes when sitting on laps of sad/stresses owners, they then jump off and have a good shake to get rid of the 'stuff' so it sounds like your horse is doing the same. Its hard not to take your sadness along with you when you go to the yard but thats life and, IMHO, horses are amazingly forgiving creatures and recognise when we need help. You keep on doing what you are doing and he will too. Sounds like he is doing a great job! xxx
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Bay Mare
Grand Prix Poster
Olympic Poster
Speak to the hoof
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Post by Bay Mare on Dec 27, 2010 9:41:29 GMT 1
I agree with Gordo, horses are great healers and it sounds like he's taking care of you It's really very special, don't stay away, just spend some time just being Edited thanks to Apple's idiot spell checker
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Post by Dragonmaster on Dec 27, 2010 10:38:29 GMT 1
I agree with the others. You and Vardi must have a special bond after all that trouble when he was injured last year. You helped him now he is helping you. We know that just being with horses is very healing and this is more so when the horse and person already share a bond. By choosing to stay near you he is showing you he is willing to help. Horses that cannot deal with a person's stress will do all they can to get away from that person. Should Vardi get to a point that there is something he cannot deal with he will stay away from you. People can learn techniques to get rid of stress, such as breathing exercises, but animals have these techniques in-built. For yourself, this is a link to a really good meditation that you can download to your PC for free then put on your MP3 player. Pick the last bottom right on the page that is just called 'meditation'. www.naturallyyou.co.uk/spirituality/mp3-downloads/You may find it helps a lot. Best wishes...
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Post by mandal on Dec 27, 2010 11:47:36 GMT 1
I agree with Gordo, horses are great healers and it sounds like he's taking care of you It's really very special, don't stay away, just spend some time just being Ditto this. Lovely experience, thanks for sharing and I hope you feel stronger soon.
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Post by petethebee on Dec 27, 2010 12:00:56 GMT 1
Sounds like you have a clear and bonded relationship with your horse. The licking may mean that he is a bit short on salts though because humans taste of salt, and I wonder if he has a lick available. Wish you all the best.
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Post by laurac on Dec 27, 2010 13:57:27 GMT 1
Your horse sounds very special and I think he is trying his hardest to help you at this time Strangely enough my horse was licking my hard on Xmas day in the field when i went to see him (Ive had flu so he had been looked after by a friend and it was the first time i went up to him to give him a fuss in a week) and my hard got lots of licking too Hope you are back to yourself in the near future x
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Kayti
Advanced Poster
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Post by Kayti on Dec 27, 2010 18:32:43 GMT 1
Most animals will avoid stressful situations, they will leave if at all possible, it is their instinct to not be near anything that could cause them harm, so they use flight to express this.
I would suspect that what you are seeing in your lad is a nurturing rather than a stressing.
Being with him is good for you, plain and simple. There are times to be selfish and put his needs in second place a little as you think of what you need for the long term good. As long as you arent frightening him (which clearly you arent!!!) then don't stop, horses are very good at coping with a few tears and hugs :-)
Horse time keeps our level of normality and consistency on an even keel. If he chooses to stand with you, just be near you or chat with his friends, your time "with horses" is a huge huge part of starting to feel better and moving forward from this episode. Your horse has many many hours without human interaction to be a horse so perhaps try to see his "work" for you at the moment not as being a ridden horse but as therapy :-)
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Post by cbc on Dec 27, 2010 18:41:39 GMT 1
Ditto all the above. Look after yourself, and get well soon, you sound like you have a great bond with your horse, enjoy just being with him
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Post by anastasia55555 on Dec 27, 2010 18:48:18 GMT 1
Sounds like he is trying to look after you :-) dont think he would stick around if you were stressing him out :-) hope your feeling a bit better soon!
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Post by june on Dec 27, 2010 19:28:16 GMT 1
I think it sounds like he's enjoying the attention and the yawning is his relaxation. If he was finding the situation stressful he'd leave. Horses are excellent mirrors so you chilling out with him is mirrored with him chilling out with you.
Have you tried some NLP type counselling? I know Susan on here won't mind me mentioning her. She had a major issue with stress and bullying at work which resulted in her being off work for some time, and found NLP very useful in getting herself back on her feet.
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Post by jen1 on Dec 28, 2010 23:12:40 GMT 1
www.eft4horseandrider.co.uk so sorry your having problems this link might help , it really does work, its a bit like nlp with a lot more to it ,
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Post by happysnail on Dec 29, 2010 18:10:51 GMT 1
He would choose not to be around you if you were stressing him. He sounds like a one in a million best buddy supporting you. I ended up being signed off work with stress in May and totally empathise with were you're at at the moment. Really believe that it's horses that have been most honest about my recovery and a barometer of where I was at. I got my friend to take my pulse as I cuddled her mare and in less than a minute it went from racing to normal. As I started to recover it was really difficult not to put my energy too high or race on ahead of myself but the horses fed that back in a way that people couldn't. I did perfect confidence with Linda, Julia and Dido to try and explore issues that had taken me to that place and make my way forward. I owe to them more than they will ever know. Coming off medication now, feeling chilled and at ease with myself and looking forward to 2011. Sending you and your lovely horse massive hug. If you ever want to just talk, PM me. Xxxx
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Post by ellijay on Dec 29, 2010 18:40:25 GMT 1
Chavhorse, Ive been there too, I started riding again to recover and I know that I would never have done so without my equine therapist. If I was having a dark day my mare knew and didnt like leaving me when I turned her out, she would walk a few paces towards her friends and then turn and 'hurrumph' at me and sometimes if I was feeling very sad she would just come back and stand with me. Im well now and my bond with her is very strong, we trust and respect each other and I am very lucky to have her in my life. I totally agree with happysnail the IH courses have helped me more than I could ever have imagined, not just with my horses but with many other aspects of my life. I'm sure you will soon be on the road to recovery and I wish you all the best for 2011. x
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Amanda Seater
Grand Prix Poster
Listen to your horse you may be surprised what he may tell you about yourself
Posts: 3,866
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Post by Amanda Seater on Dec 29, 2010 19:09:04 GMT 1
sounds liek a lovely healing thing going on there - accept the gift he is giving. I hope you become whole soon
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