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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 9, 2010 16:22:35 GMT 1
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's surgery.
The man said to the dentist, "I'm in real hurry. I have two
mates sitting in my car waiting for us to go to Elland Road , so forget
about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just
want you to pull the tooth out, and be done with it!
We have a 3pm kick off and it's 2:30pm already... I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!'
The dentist thought to himself, "Jesus Christ, this is obviously a very hard
man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the
pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth darling, and show him.
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Post by jamesb on Nov 9, 2010 19:53:55 GMT 1
LOL Smithy! ;D
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Post by aero on Nov 9, 2010 21:08:56 GMT 1
Hee Hee.......... good one
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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 10, 2010 16:24:45 GMT 1
A brunette, redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the ladies room and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said, "Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be awarded with a wish. But be warned, for if you say something false you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the brunette said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in an instant she was surrounded by a pile of money.
The redhead stepped up and said "I think I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.
Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..." and was promptly sucked into the mirror.
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Post by jamesb on Nov 10, 2010 18:39:10 GMT 1
LOL Smithy! Very good
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Post by gwenoakes on Nov 10, 2010 21:35:12 GMT 1
Hey up Smithy, you have found a good website havent you?
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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 10, 2010 22:12:50 GMT 1
The jokes come via email nearly everyday from one of my nieces.
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Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 11, 2010 9:12:49 GMT 1
yes gwennnnnnnie i was thinking that too. well done smithy,have a gold star
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Post by gwenoakes on Nov 11, 2010 12:36:46 GMT 1
I am REALLY excited.....I have a joke, but I bet you have heard it before Here goes......... 2 hunters were moose hunting every winter without success. Finally they came up with a fool proof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learnt the mating call. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of costume and shoot it. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, their call was soon answered and a bull came crashing out of the forest. When the bull was close enough the guy in front said, 'OK, lets get out and get him'. After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy behind shouted, 'The zipper is stuck!'. 'What are we going to do?' The guy in front said, 'Well, I am going to start nibbling grass, but you had better brace yourself!'
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Post by HolsBols on Nov 11, 2010 14:52:18 GMT 1
teehee very good
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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 11, 2010 17:19:45 GMT 1
A young minister and an elderly parishoner were playing golf. The minister's game was off and the old man was beating him badly.
At the end of the game, the old man tried to console his minister by saying, "don't worry, Reverend. One of these days you'll be burying me."
"Yes," said the minister, "but even then, it will be your hole!"
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Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 12, 2010 9:04:49 GMT 1
well done gwennnnie, good one smithy also liked the email one.
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Post by jamesb on Nov 12, 2010 19:17:39 GMT 1
Do you know that, statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy?
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Post by aero on Nov 12, 2010 22:42:02 GMT 1
Har Har
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Post by gwenoakes on Nov 12, 2010 23:12:50 GMT 1
I suppose 'statistically' you could be right on that one James. ROFL PMSL LMAO LOL LOL LOL
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