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Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 2, 2010 11:28:03 GMT 1
nope still not got it, eve4n tried saying it out loud in two different nun voices. bob wj
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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 2, 2010 13:32:27 GMT 1
An elderly spinster who was a dog lover agreed to look after and house her neighbours dog whilst the neighbours went on their holidays.
The only problem was that the spinsters own dog was a bitch that was on 'heat' and the neighbours dog was a male. Nevertheless she had a large house and she was able to keep the two dogs apart.
As she lay in her bed drifting off to sleep the spinster was suddenly awakened by an awful howling and moaning sounds from downstairs. she rushed downstairs to find the dogs locked together, as dogs do when mating. The dogs were in obvious pain howling but unable to disengage.
Try as she might she could not part them and she was perplexed as what to do next.
Though it was late she reluctantly phoned the vet and after a few rings a rather grumpy voice of the vet answered the phone.
The spinster explained the problem. The vet said. "I want you to take the phone to the dogs and place it down alongside them. I will then phone your number back and the noise of the telephone ringing should make the male dog lose his erection and be able to withdraw from the bitch".
"Oh" Said the spinster. "Do you think that will work ? "
"Well" The vet replied "IT JUST WORKED FOR ME".
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Post by aero on Nov 2, 2010 22:49:05 GMT 1
Brilliant............pmsl
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Post by jamesb on Nov 3, 2010 13:44:25 GMT 1
... as did the elderly spinster, no doubt LOL
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Post by HolsBols on Nov 3, 2010 21:14:39 GMT 1
ROFL awesome smithy
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Post by troop on Nov 4, 2010 0:09:32 GMT 1
a married couple at a market ... a jamaican at his stall shouts " zeez here shoes mon they make you reeeel horny" the wife of the couple says "il take them" she gives them to her hubby he puts the shoes on grabs the jamaican and bends him over the jamaican shouts "no mon you got em on the wrong feet "..... sorry hope thats not to awful
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Post by aero on Nov 4, 2010 1:16:25 GMT 1
Nice one Troop......... I thought it was funny.
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Post by HolsBols on Nov 4, 2010 14:27:44 GMT 1
teehee made me chuckle!!
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Post by jamesb on Nov 4, 2010 15:02:54 GMT 1
Waiting for HB to match that one...
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Post by ☺Smithy☺ on Nov 4, 2010 18:55:29 GMT 1
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 10 SECONDS OR SO HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE". BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MUMMY... I JUST HAVEN'T DONE IT YET. " MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES. BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"
BILLY SAYS "WELL IT WORKS FOR TOMATO SAUCE".
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Post by jamesb on Nov 4, 2010 19:48:47 GMT 1
When is a door not a door?
When it's a-jar! ;D
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Post by troop on Nov 4, 2010 20:06:13 GMT 1
mwwaaaa
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Post by gwenoakes on Nov 4, 2010 23:34:29 GMT 1
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Your too young to smoke.
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Post by ☼ WIZARD ☼ on Nov 5, 2010 0:09:14 GMT 1
jaymez i would like to say is that the best you can do , but since im yet to join in i'll keep quiet. smithy im shocked at you.
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Post by aero on Nov 5, 2010 22:59:07 GMT 1
I'm not!!!!
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