Asking for understanding here

[jill]

Jackie - it is nice to see you back, and I know you have many friends on here, but it seems to me that what you really need is friends and support where you are. You love your old ladies so much that sooner or later you are going to have to love them enough to make the hardest decision of all - and you need at the very least a shoulder to cry on at that time, if not practical help and moral support. I hope you have good freinds near you who can do that for you.

[troop]

of course they are your ladies and of course you love them and of course you never want anything to happen to them its so awful when the good things end but they eventually do its part of life and all we can do is our best xxxxxxxxxx

[Caroline]

I'm so glad you are back jackiedo! I understood when you went - I get frustrated sometimes too - but I was sad to see IH lose a good person, a person who works so hard to care for horses in such need.

There are some great people here. They don't all speak up on every thread, but they are there when we need them and when the horses need them. I have been so touched by the support I have received for my rescue work here. Sometimes it comes quietly and privately, but it is there. From the private messages of support and encouragement, the generous advice, the gift of a rug for Beauty, through to the two remarkable ladies who paid to liberate Lakota (who would have almost certainly be dead by now without their help).

As John Major once so wisely put it "Don't let the b******* get you down!" I think there is more good than bad here on balance.

I hope all your horses soon return to good health. I will pray for both them and you. As others have said, we can't keep every horse healthy and alive forever, but we do our best. I believe it is our job to love and care for the animals that cross our path and do our best for them. I think you do a wonderful job of that. I know it's hard, but try and accept that you can only do your best.

Is there anything any of us can do to help with your situation and help you with your horses?

[Diane D]

So glad you are back Jackiedo. xx

[cbc]

Think of the life you have given them, however long or short that time has been. If they are whizzing down to see you, that life must be bl**dy good.
It is one of the saddest things ever having to let a friend go, but it is also one of the bravest; one of the hardest decision for a person to make. The flip side of this is that it can be the kindest for the horse; I know, I have been there.

Just do your best, as has been said by the others. Lets face it, there is a whole load of people in the world who dont, you are not one of them.

[donnalex]

Glad youre back.

[rosemaryhannah]

Very glad to have you back. Writing this with little dog Ted in bed beside me (staying with daughter as it's Christmas).

Each case is different medically. What you do about the pony with a tumour in the eye will be governed by that the vet's prognosis is if the eye is removed. Personally, if the prognosis was good, I would expect the pony to adjust afterwards pretty well - I've met many one eyed
ponies. If it was poor or very poor, I might pts.

Are the choke episodes becoming more frequent? This, again, might govern my response. I imagine you are already doing everything you can in the way of management.

As regards chronic lameness, again I think you need to ask just how bad it is, and if it is getting worse.

But however much we love animals or people, the fact is that in end end we all die. If you decide to put any of them to sleep, it will only be so that they do not need to suffer. Sometimes that has to be done. You can't promise anything it will never die, only that you will always care for them, as everybody else has said.

[jackiedo]

Rosemary I blame myself for the black mare's condition. I recommended the home. When I say untreated abcesses, (off side hind) this is made worse by the fact that the mare is chronically lame and has shortened tendons due to a previous injury in her near side hind. Her abcessy hoof has improved, but it has to take all the extra weight, and the silly mare keeps breaking new growth, that is not growing quickly enough by running around. She hates it being handled, is needle shy and head shy (I even have to sheild her eye putting rugs on, once they are on, she is fine with them, but getting them off again is a problem).
The other mare, with the choke is being fed on bailey's number 1 as a gruel, and she is managing on that, she seperated herself from the herd a while ago, but has now come back to her rightful place as herd leader. The tumour in Zarello's eye is only small and benign, the vet has advised that we just keep it under observastin at the moment, and she gets drops if it gets sore. When I removed my old TB from the yard where the other mare was on, I knew that I would end up with her as well, I knew they were scared of her and I think that this, and a lack of funds or any sense to see that something was clearly wrong is how her foot has so degenerated. I should have done something radical then, but I was trying to maintain a friendship, I should have put the horse first.

[gwenoakes]

Another here pleased to see you back.

It is a sad fact that hindsight is a wonderful thing.........but we can only do what we can at any given time. You have had lots of other things going on in your life all of which you have had to deal with.

I too have regrets if only I had taken Joe the shire away before I did, perhaps he would still be here with us, if only, if only...... Whatever did happen, you did the best you could at the time it happened. Please think of all the tomorrows and not the yesterdays. Think of how well you have and are looking after the horses now, think of all the little doggies you have rehomed. Although I have never met you, you come over as a VERY caring person and just because you are very caring, your heart will be broken more often.

Sorry, maybe a bit of a babble. I have often said that after this life if I can come back I would wish to be as thick as a cottage wall, so everything passes over me or the biggest bird that can fly, so that I can sh!t on those that have sh!t on me in this lifetime. Maybe even that doesnt make sense to anyone else, but it does to me!!

All your concerns, caring, worry and love proves to me that you have a HUGE heart and not a swinging brick like some folks.

[mandal]

Dec 29, 2009 9:55:46 GMT 1 jackiedo said:

Rosemary I blame myself for the black mare's condition. I recommended the home.

Imo a recommendation does NOT make you responsible Jackie. You have to give resonsibility to others, you cannot take it all on yourself you'll have no energy left. We can't change the past, only deal with the present.

I had my little Toby put to sleep a few weeks ago after a long debilitating illness and it was a dreadful decision to make but I know it was the right one and have no regret for making that decision. I miss him dreadfully etc. but I wouldn't wish him alive and suffering as he was anymore.

[rosemaryhannah]

Well life is a balancing act and no, nobody gets it right all the time. If the hoof is growing, probably in time it will mend. Sounds like soemthing time will sort. I think, don't panic and keep breathing is probably the best advice for now, and your vet is keeping watch on the dodgy eye.

Jackie - you have done so much for so many - give yourself a break. It does not sound as though any of yours are currently at crisis point.

[bramblesmum]

Jackido I am so glad you are back,

As for your current situation with your ladies, this time of year is bleak and it certainly makes it a lot harder to look on the more positive side of things.

No-one can advise you what to do re your girls as they are not vets and people that see and know them, however what I do know is that horses have long memories and for all the suffering they go through they remember a kindness no matter how small/short.

Your girls may have at times had a rough time, but now they are in a safe secure environment and know they are well looked after and loved. They would not ask for more and you cannot put it onto yourself to provide more than that as it is a task no one could meet.

I have all the best wishes in the world for you all that they all recover well and have many years more with your company.

[happysnail]

Wishing you all the best with the girls

[beany1]

I have an abscess on my tooth at the moment, and waking up day in and day out in such pain is starting to make me miserable. If someone said I had to live with this pain forever, I wouldn't want to live - and I am a human with children that I love, but sometimes pain is too much to want to live through.

I feel for you, and I'm sure you will do the best thing for your horses

[vab]

It is always more difficult as your horses get older and all we can do is look after them at the best we can and keep an eye on if they are happy - my husband's lawnmower is 20 years and fit and healthy and happier than we have ever know now - we have only had her 2 years but she now loves us as we love her despite of some of her less nice habits but that is orchid (or awkward as we nic named her) my tiggy is my love of my life and she is now 16 which scares me especially as she has a few problems with one of her legs and our 3rd pony is only a baby and we are still getting to know her even though we have had her nearly 2 years - people like you who treat your horses in the best you can are wonderful - they could be owned by people who decide to sell them on when they get older - it really upsets me when i see people selling ponies that are 16 years plus its so unfair on the ponies and this year i have meant so many lovely veteren ponies when judging and also some lovely people who have made the decision to buy these older ponies and give them a new life which will stay with them for ever - god bless to people like that - i keep my fingers xd that your girls come through the winter and have a good summer in 2010.